Finding love in the digital world

A new research study published by Scientific American discovers some of the best ways to have success with online dating.

The article, a synopsis of which can be read here, points out that people who have success with online dating realise that it’s important to move from the dating website to the real world fairly quickly.  They take advantage of opportunities to communicate and move from like, message to meeting fairly quickly.

The successful ones also widen their search, and don’t focus too heavily on who might they might find most attractive.  In other words, they take chances and make contact with people who might meet their search criteria, as well as those who definitely meet their search criteria.

We agree with these findings and believe it is important to be realistic about what a dating website can do for you.  Internet dating can too often lead people to focus on instant gratification and instant success. In reality, the people who have success are those who take their search for true love off the internet and into the real world. When you meet, you can use your intuition to decide if someone is right for you.

We’ll be exploring this new article and its findings in the coming weeks, so come back to our blog to read more and discover how you can put their tips to your use to have success in your quest for HIV dating or herpes dating.

We are into good profiles – why they matter to you and the website

At datepositive.net we are into good profiles in a big way.

This is because good profiles make or break a dating site.

A good profile adds to the quality of a dating website and they can really make a difference on an HIV dating or herpes dating site.  It can be hard enough to meet people, and having an STD makes it harder.

So if you make an effort and write a half-decent profile, just describing what you are like and what you enjoy it does two things.  One, and most importantly, this profile will massively increase your chances of having success at datepositve.net.

Number two, good profiles maintain the quality of this, the largest UK STD dating site.  People join, have a look around and think “I like what I see here. It’s probably worth sticking around.”

If you make a bit of an effort, it encourages others to make a bit of an effort.  People who use the site end up having better chances of success. It becomes a win-win situation.

That’s what we want at this hiv dating and herpes dating website – winners and success all around.

So, sadly, If you fill your profile box with random characters or write something like “Just looking around”, we’re sorry, but your profile will be returned to you for a rewrite and after one week, removed from the site.

We don’t want to sound harsh, and we are here to help.  We have a whole section on the blog on dating website profile writing and we are also always here to help you with your profile at info@datepositive.net

Add a photo – even on a herpes dating or hiv dating website

This is a subject we have written about a lot in the past, but we think it is never something that’s written about enough.

We really, really want to encourage datepositive.net members to add a photo to their profile.

It makes a massive difference if you are serious about online dating.  Adding a photo to your profile will significantly increase the amount of success you can have with hiv dating or herpes dating at datepositive.net.

We know that people are very concerned about privacy, and hiv dating and herpes dating are very sensitive things. Privacy is the most important element and the normal behaviour on, for example, Facebook or any other social media site, does not exist at datepositive.net.  We know that 99% of our members are concerned about their privacy and rate it as their number one priority.

We have a solution. You can keep your photo private by choosing the correct site settings, and you do not have to reveal you photo to anyone until you have selected them as your favourite.

You may ask What difference does it make if people can’t see my photo if it is private.  It does make a difference.  It gives out a message that you take your membership on datepositive.net seriously and are committed to finding someone who is a friend, activity partner, a relationship, or what ever you are looking for.

That signal of commitment is the most important message you can give, it tells people that you will mostly likely get back to them, respond to their first contact, send a note, be interested.

If you’ve joined this STD dating website be sure to make the best use of it and create success for yourself.  Adding a photo is one big way of doing this.

If you have any questions or concerns, or are unsure about how to use the privacy settings, please get in touch (see the contact link, top menu) and we will be happy to help.

Find it hard to say hello on IM? Some ideas to get the conversation going

Some time ago we suggested that Wednesday and Thursday evenings should be IM nights on datepositive.net.

The idea is to try to get as many people on the site after 7pm on those evenings. If we make this a time for IM and more people log on, the chances of successfully connecting with someone on this hiv dating and herpes dating website are much greater.

A few people have emailed and said it is really hard to just to strike up a conversation with a stranger. We realise that, and so to make it easier here are a few suggestions:

1. Take a risk. That’s what online dating is all about. You have to be able to put yourself out there and make people favourites, send messages, and try to chat. If you don’t get a reply, don’t feel badly, try a new person.

2. Be Polite. You might not be attracted or feel drawn to the person who’s making contact for the first time, but put yourself in their shoes. It’s not easy. So just take a few seconds to say hi. You never know, you might be in for a pleasant surprise :)

3. Asking a couple of questions is a great way of breaking the ice. Ask someone about their job or how their day has been. These are good ways to get the conversation going.

4. If you come on to IM one night and don’t connect with anyone or hit if off in a good way, don’t worry and don’t be put off. Come back and try again. Stay focused and be positive and you will find what you are looking for.

5. Be respectful. If someone says they don’t want to chat, be accepting and see if someone else is available.

We wish you all the best with IM and the whole site. Be daring, get out there and make contact, and make connections happen!

Dating advice: things men really do not want to have to complain about

Men do not really nag, do they?  Well, a small number of them do, but most of them may make a comment or two and then give up, and possibly walk away.

So if you want to find out how to keep your relationship safe, consider this list of things that men don’t want to hear.  Obviously we’re not advising you to not communicate, but if you take a look at some of these openers, you will understand where we’re coming from, and save a lot of complaining or even nagging!

Constantly asking how you look, or if you look OK: Asking once in a while is OK.  It shows that you value your partner’s views and want him to think you look good.  But asking too much will give the impression that you are insecure and lack confidence, which over the long term can be a real turn off.  Also, asking if you look fat is another issue.  (Is there really a right answer to that one!). Pretty soon you are going to start hearing him say “Stop asking me that!”.

Talking about your ex, or saying you’re friends with your ex: It’s great that you are friends with your ex, or maybe even all of them. But constantly talking about them, introducing them all at once or asking if they can hang out with you both on Saturday evening is not a good idea.  How would you feel if your guy kept talking about his ex and wanted to hang out with her?  Not good, right?  Right.  People want to feel special and the focus of attention.  That’s part of the point of a date.  Some guys don’t mind if you’re friends with your ex, but most do. So sound him out and respect his feelings first, especially if you have just started seeing each other.

Telling him that he looks a bit like your dad, or that he makes you think of your brother: Saying this to a guy who is a friend is one thing, but to someone you are about to date, or your new boyfriend is a bad idea.  And if you keep saying it, he’ll soon ask you not too.  A guy wants to hear that he his sexy, smart and loveable in a way that only a boyfriend can be.

Letting him know that you tell your mother or your best friend everything: This really is a bad idea and it’s probably something you should stop doing.  No guy wants to know that what he is doing or saying is being discussed by you and other people he might not know.  It will feel like a betrayal and will affect the trust in the relationship.  A man needs to know that the relationship is special and not discussed by others.  This is the kind of thing that can lead to a break-up pretty quickly!

Telling him he never does something (such as buy you flowers, chocolate, calls after work): This is criticising, which we all know can sometimes lead a person to feel resentful and deflated.  If you want someone to do something, plant the seed of the idea as a positive suggestion, such as “I’d love to hear from you after work”, or “I love fresh flowers.  It would be great if they were from you.”

Telling him he is boring:  If he is, then again, why are you with him.  You may have to be clear and say you are just not that into fishing, golf, football, cooking, carpentry, whatever it is he keeps going on about.  But even if you are not, try and show a bit of interest and encouragement.

Telling him over and over that you don’t like his family or his friends: He is with you and either really likes you or loves you.  But his family and/or friends are most probably really important to him.  If one person is very problematic and doesn’t like you, and that’s causing friction, then try to talk about the issue and agree a solution.

Comparing him to someone else:  This is along the lines of telling him he never does something.  The overall message speaks for itself. You’re telling him you aren’t happy with him and/or his behaviour and that he is not measuring up to your (unrealistic?) expectations.  If you really do feel this way, you have to ask if you are with the right guy.  And if you keep comparing him, he will either ask you to stop, or break up with you.

Asking him who he’s attracted to and who he thinks is pretty: This may sound harmless but if the conversation happens over and over it can lead to trouble.  As well, he can feel as though he is being manipulated and may not know how to answer.

Asking him about the future, and hinting at living together or marriage: If he hasn’t asked you, chances are he is not ready, or doesn’t want to take the next step.  It doesn’t hurt to have a conversation and make sure you are on the same page.  No one wants to date a guy for two years and then find out that all along he had been planing to go to Australia. But by the same token don’t keep asking him the same question over and over.  That’s the last thing he will want to complain about!

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