Best type of condom for protection against an STD?

Q. Which is the best kind of condom? Is it latex or polyurethane?  Do they protect against STDs? A datepositive.net member.

A. It is not the type of condom but the way it is used that matters.  Properly used, condoms significantly reduce the transmission of STDs.

However, there are skin contacts outside the condom area and I have seen Herpes, HPV and mollluscum transmitted in this way despite condom use.

Improper use of condoms include:  not using it until penetration (ie some unprotected sex before), not using it till orgasm, condom breaking, condom slipping off, infection creeping around the sides of a condom.  So you are still at risk even with a condom. - Dr. Laurence Gerlis.

Transmit herpes without symptoms?

Q. I have started seeing someone who does not have herpes (I do). He is unsure about us sleeping together and to be honest I don’t blame him.

I don’t want to pressure him. I had one outbreak and that was it. If I had warning symptoms of a future outbreak or another outbreak we would not have sex. If he uses a condom while I don’t have any blisters, will he be ok?

What else can we do to reduce his risk of getting herpes?  Is there anything I can do to reduce the chances of another outbreak? - A Datepositive.net member Continue reading

Parents reject me because of HIV; ask the Counsellor

Q. My parents are very cold to me since I told them I was HIV positive. They said I was irresponsible and let them down.

I am successful in every aspect of my life but do not have a partner. Their rejection has hurt but as they get older I realise I need to sort out this situation and at least visit them sometimes. I am also very lonely and would like to talk to them occasionally. - A Datepositive member.

A. Congratulations on being successful in every aspect of your life. Not many of us can say that.

However, I note that you are very lonely, you do not have a partner and you would like to talk sometimes with your parents who are very cold to you since you told them you were hiv positive.  You say you need to visit them sometimes, so maybe that could be a good starting point.

Your parents sound meaningful to you.  Perhaps you could tell them this and say that life for you could be so much better with their support and you would very much value this from them.  Give them time.  If you still feel rejection from them, still believe in yourself and remember your achievements and respect yourself for the person you are.

There are many other sufferers of hiv out there, many good loving and true people.  Look on the online (as you are now).  Focus on what is right for you and go for it. - Frankie Hall, MBACP, DipCouns., DipEd.

Online dating advice: Help, this guy does not want to meet.

I have messaged and texted a guy on this site. He writes a lot about himself and tells me all kinds things you would only tell someone really close to you, but he doesn’t want to talk on the phone.

He says he really likes me and loves our messages and has even talked about us doing stuff together in the future. What should I do? I don’t want to stop messaging. - A Datepositive member.

A. You haven’t mentioned your age so I will assume you are youngish.  You say you don’t want to stop messaging a man who doesn’t want to talk on the phone but who talks about “us doing stuff together”.  Continue reading