Helping to Heal the wounds of mistrust and betrayal; issues surrounding HIV, Herpes and other STDs.

The emotional impact of discovering that you have herpes or HIV can, for some people, outweigh the physical health issues one has to deal with.

Many people have found out that they have herpes from a partner or former partner who has not been open about their health condition, and the sense of betrayal can be profound and even damaging.

This hiv dating and herpes dating site has collected stories of site members and used them (with permission and anonymously) with the media. This work has helped break the stigma attached to having and STD. It has also given people an outlet to express their feelings.

One woman told the site that her boyfriend gave her herpes and she was left devastated by the experience and found it hard to trust people.  She said that herpes dating site Datepositive gave her a sense of hope about her future and new opportunities to meet people.

A woman who is HIV positive revealed her status to her work manager due to the need for doctor’s appointments, but then found herself being harassed for taking time off work. A man living in Scotland almost became destitute after becoming HIV positive. He became too ill to work and admitted to selling drugs in a desperate attempt to support himself.

To help deal with these issues, Datepositive has secured a fully qualified counsellor, Frankie Hall, to provide support to members. Questions can be sent to Frankie without revealing a name, and the questions and answers are posted on the website blog. A fully qualified sexual health specialist, Dr. Laurence Gerlis, provides answers to questions about health conditions.

One woman said that life became intolerable after she got herpes, and the opportunity to email site members and seek support from a counsellor made all the difference.  You can read some of the member stories at www.datepositive.net/blog.

Herpes outbreak during pregnancy

Q. What happens if I have an outbreak when I am pregnant?

Can having herpes affect my baby before it is born?  What if I have an outbreak when I am due to deliver? - A datepositive.net member

A. A baby can pick up herpes on vaginal delivery, and if there is an outbreak in late pregnancy this may be an indication for Caesarian birth.

Otherwise herpes in pregnancy is not a problem for the baby.  Medication maybe given if the outbreak is severe and after the first three months, but this would only be used in extreme cases. - Dr Laurence Gerlis

Risks of trichomonas; datepositive.net member gets advice from Dr Gerlis

Q. It took me a long time to realise something was wrong and after getting tested I learned I had trich.

Are there risks because it was left untreated for so long?

A. Trichomonas is easily treated and does not cause long term damage – there should be no problem arising from the delay in treatment. - Dr. Laurence Gerlis.

HSV2 & Herpes transmission risk while asymptomatic

Q. Can a person get hsv2 from someone who has it but has no symptoms? - A Datepositive.net member.

A. Yes. You can shed virus between attacks, and women in particular may have non-visible internal lesions.

This is called Asymptomatic Transmission. Herpes simplex infections are often spread by people who don’t know they are infected. These people may have symptoms so mild they don’t notice them at all or else don’t recognize them as herpes. Continue reading

Reducing risk of partner getting herpes

Q. I am just starting to see someone who does not have herpes. I’ve told him I have herpes and he has been ok.


We have not had sex as yet. I want to know what can we do to reduce the risk of him getting infected when we make love.


Also, can we have a bath together or share a towel? - A Datepositive.net member.


A. No problem bathing together or sharing a towel, unless you have very obvious visible sore lesions.

You should still use protection for intercourse as you may have internal visible lesions or be shedding HSV. - Dr. Laurence Gerlis.