"It doesn't stop me from doing anything I used to do."

Emma, aged 23*, had her first episode of genital herpes in March 2006

"When I first realised I had a sore down below, I really freaked out. I went straight to the sexual health clinic at my local hospital where they told me it looked like herpes simplex and took a swab. They gave me a five-day treatment of aciclovir and lidocaine ointment to relieve the itchy pain. When I got home, I searched the internet for ‘genital herpes’ but the sites I found gave scary, alarming and very negative information. Ten days later the clinic texted to say the swab test was positive for herpes simplex.

"I'd been with my boyfriend for two years and he was very supportive. I'm not sure if I got herpes from him as he has never had any symptoms. When I was a student I had a couple of partners, so I may have got it from one of them.

"During the summer, I had a small episode which disappeared overnight. It drove me to start worrying again. I then had another small recurrence and after this I decided that I would not allow this virus to take over my life. I found out about the Herpes Viruses Association through the web, and decided to give them a call. I spoke about my recent problems and they gave me loads of support and advice, and as much knowledge about the virus as I could take in.

"I've learned that life is too short to worry about a minor virus. It's not life-threatening and it doesn’t stop me from doing anything that I used to do. My boyfriend doesn’t think twice about me having herpes and still loves me for who I am, not what I have. There is such a huge stigma behind herpes that makes people hysterical and upset. However, we should treat it like facial herpes simplex (cold sores). No one freaks out about them but they're exactly the same thing, just on the face.

"My boyfriend always says to me that if he gets an episode, he will use the medicine and wait for it to clear up. He says, 'Is the virus life-threatening? No? Well then stop worrying and live life to the full.'

I honestly can’t stress enough how genital herpes does not make him avoid having sex with me and he certainly doesn’t think any less of me.

* Name and age have been changed.

Reprinted with permission of the NHS.

Some people find different triggers bring on an episode. If you notice a pattern, you may be able to do something about it by changing certain aspects of your life. Common triggers can include:

- Being ill, rundown, tired or stressed.

- Different times in the menstrual cycle.

- Friction from sex or masturbation.

- Ultraviolet light on the affected skin area (sunbathing or using sun beds).

- Tight clothing and nylon or lycra underwear. - Drinking alcohol or smoking.

Recurrences eventually stop altogether within 18-24 months for many people, although it may take much longer for others. The blisters and sores are highly infectious, so if you or your partner have cold sores or genital herpes:

- Avoid kissing when you, or your partner, have cold sores around the mouth.

- Avoid oral sex when you, or your partner, have mouth or genital sores.

- Avoid any genital or anal contact when you, or your partner, have genital sores or blisters, or if you feel an episode starting.

- Use condoms (male or female) every time you have vaginal or anal sex.

If you have oral sex, cover the penis with a condom or the anal area and female genitals with a dam (latex or polyurethane (soft plastic) square).

- Avoid sharing sex toys. If you do share them, wash them or cover them with a new condom before anyone else uses them.

- Some of these measures can also help to protect you from some other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as HIV, chlamydia and gonorrhoea.

Where do I go for further help and advice?

Call the Sexual Health Helpline on 0800 567123 for confidential advice and support 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Alternatively, you can call sexual health direct, run by fpa, for confidential information and advice on all STIs, contraception, sexual wellbeing, planning a pregnancy and pregnancy choices. fpa also has details of sexual health services and a wide range of leaflets. Sexual health direct is open Mon-Fri 9am-6pm. Call 0845 122 8690.

Leaflets on all STIs can also be downloaded from fpa’s website at www.fpa.org.uk (links to external site).

If you feel concerned about seeing your GP ask to speak to the practice nurse or visit a GUM (sexual health) clinic, details of which can be found on the fpa’s website or at www.condomessentialwear.co.uk (links to external site).

Reprinted with permission of the NHS.

Women will now receive free Premium membership at www.datepositive.net.

We've introduced the new promotion to attract more women to the website so that we can increase the male/female ratio on the site.  At present Date Positive has more than 2,100 members but more than two-thirds of members are men.  To balance out the ratio, we've decided to introduce free full membership for women.

Women may be a bit reticent when it comes to online dating, and so this new promotion will hopefully attract them to Date Positive, the UK, Ireland and Europe's only STI dating website.

A woman's membership will be upgraded to Premium for six months during the profile approval process. So female members have to wait only one day at most before enjoying all the benefits of the website.

www.datepositive.net has grown steadily since its launch in late 2006. It offers people with HIV, herpes and any STI a safe and secure way of meeting new friends, activity partners or a date. The site has secure messaging and various photo privacy options.  Members no longer have to worry about the fear of rejection when using www.datepositive.net.

Premium membership for men is very inexpensive at just £9.99 for three months.  As far as we know, this is the lowest subscription fee for an online dating website. We intend to keep the membership fee low in order to make the site accessible to as many people as possible.

Some clinics are walk-in, others may book appointments. Ring first to find out.

When you attend a clinic, you will be asked for your name, date of birth and contact details and you will be registered as a patient. These details are confidential and will not be passed on to your GP unless you request it.

The clinic nurse will ask the reason why you are attending the clinic.

You will be asked for a sexual history, which will include questions such as when you last had sex, who it was with, whether you used condoms, whether you have had an STI before, and if you are on any medication.

Reprinted with permission of the NHS.

Where do I go?

There are a number of different places where you can find out about treatment for genital herpes:

- Sexual health clinics, which provide contraceptive and genitourinary services.

- GUM clincs, which provide genitourinary services and STI testing and advice. These clinics offer a free and confidential service. Their medical staff have specialist facilities for testing and systems for contacting, testing and treating sexual partners. Details of GUM clinics can be found in your local phone directory, from your local hospital, from the NHS website www.condomessentialwear.co.uk (links to external site) or from the fpa’s (formerly the Family Planning Association) website www.fpa.org.uk (links to external site). Clinics are completely confidential and will not inform your GP unless you specifically ask them to.

- Your general practice.

When you see your doctor or nurse, they will check your symptoms. In many cases, genital herpes can be confirmed just by looking at the area. A swab of fluid from the infected area may be taken, this involves breaking the blister to get a sample of the fluid inside. The swab will then be sent to the laboratory and the result will usually be known within one to two weeks.

A swab looks a bit like a cotton bud, but is smaller and rounded. It sometimes has a small plastic loop on the end rather than a cotton tip. It is wiped over the parts of the body that could be infected and easily picks up samples of fluid. This only takes a few seconds and may sting for a moment if the blisters and sores are tender.

There's a specific blood test that can be done to look for antibodies to the virus, although this is not used as a routine test for genital herpes. Cervical screening tests and routine blood tests do not detect the herpes simplex virus.

It's important to remember that no test is 100% accurate. It's easier to diagnose herpes at the beginning of an episode when a sample of fluid from the blister can be taken. The doctor or nurse will talk to you about how accurate your test result is

Reprinted with permission of the NHS.

Genital herpes is caused by the virus herpes simplex (HSV). There are two types: HSV1 and HSV2.

Genital herpes can be passed from one person to another during sexual contact. The virus enters the body through cracks in the skin or through the linings of the mouth, vagina, rectum and uretha (the tube that urine passes along).

Some people get symptoms within four to five days of coming into contact with the virus, others do not get any symptoms for weeks, months or possibly years.

Following the initial episode, the virus then becomes dormant (inactive), sometimes for long periods of time. When the virus is dormant, it is not infectious and doesn't cause any symptoms. Some people will experience further episodes of genital herpes from time to time.

Symptoms of genital herpes may include some of the following:

- Feeling generally unwell with flu-like symptoms such as fever, tiredness, headache, swollen glands, aches and pains in the lower back, groin or down the legs. - Stinging, tingling or itching in the genital or anal area.

- Small, fluid-filled blisters anywhere in the genital or anal area, on the buttocks and the tops of the thighs. These quickly burst within a day or two leaving small red sores which can be very painful.

- Pain when passing urine (peeing) caused by the urine flowing over the sores.

How long will an episode last?

Episodes will last a different length of time in each person and will depend on your general state of health and whether this is the first or a recurrent episode of genital herpes. The first episode of herpes, often the most painful, may last from two to fours weeks in total

- The flu-like symptoms usually last for about a week. Individual sores take around five to 10 days to heal. Once the sores start healing they are less painful.

- Pain and irritation can last for two weeks or longer. - The symptoms with a recurrent episode of genital herpes will usually last for a shorter time than with the first episode.

Reprinted with permission of the NHS.

Genital herpes is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) caused by the herpes simplex virus, affecting more than 21,000 people in the UK each year.

Toni Belfield, director of information for the fpa (formerly the Family Planning Association), suggests some of the questions you might want to ask your clinician.

How did I get genital herpes?

Genital herpes can be passed from one person to another during sexual contact. Anyone who is sexually active can get the virus, and both men and women can have genital herpes and pass it on. An attack or outbreak of genital herpes is known as an episode. The herpes virus is most likely to be passed on just before, during and immediately after an episode.

Genital herpes can be passed on:

From one person to another during vaginal or anal sex or by sharing sex toys.

By skin-to-skin contact during sex. It can be passed on by close genital contact. You don’t need to have penetrative sex (vaginal or anal) to pass it on.

By skin-to-skin contact during sex if the virus is active on the skin outside the area protected by a condom or dam.

If you receive oral sex form someone who has a cold sore or is just about to get one.

If a person with herpes on the hand or finger, known as whitlows, touches the vagina, genitals or anal area.It is possible for a pregnant woman to pass the virus to her baby at birth if she is having an episode.

You cannot get herpes from hugging, sharing baths or towels, from swimming pools, toilet seats or from sharing cups, plates or cutlery.

Can it be treated?

The symptoms of genital herpes can be treated although it will eventually clear up by itself. Treatment will usually ease any discomfort. After the first episode of genital herpes, further episodes may occur.

Do I need to tell my partner?

If your check-up shows that you have genital herpes then it is not normally recommended that your partner has a check-up, unless they have symptoms. The doctor or nurse will talk to you about whether or not it may be helpful to talk to your sexual partner(s) and how to do this.

I’m planning on getting pregnant. Will my baby be at risk?

Genital herpes does not affect fertility in either men or women. Most women who have genital herpes give birth to healthy babies.

Genital herpes can be treated safely during pregnancy:

If you get genital herpes before you're pregnant the risk of passing it on to your baby at birth is very low.

If you get genital herpes after you become pregnant, then this is more serious.

If the first episode of genital herpes occurs in the first three months of pregnancy, there is a small risk of miscarriage.

If you catch genital herpes for the first time late in pregnancy, you will not have time to pass your immunity to your baby. The virus could be passed to your baby during vaginal delivery so a caesarean birth may be recommended. However, most women with genital herpes have a normal pregnancy and delivery, and it's very unusual for babies to be infected with herpes.

Will my parents find out?

Check-ups and treatment are completely confidential. Even if you're under 16, your parents/carers will not be told.

Reprinted with permission of the NHS.

From late today until next Tuesday www.datepositive.net is cutting the cost of its three-month subscription to £4.99.

This Easter sale gives Standard members a chance to become a Premium member for half the price!

Log on now and upgrade your membership to Premium for just £4.99.

The sale is only until next Tuesday, March 25. Then the cost of a three-month subscription goes back up to £9.99.

We've decided to have the sale to make the site even more accessible to as many people as possible.

For most people with herpes one of the biggest hurdles they have to cross when dating is telling someone they have an STI.

It’s difficult because you put your self in an extremely vulnerable position. You have to reveal something very personal and there is a real fear of rejection.

In addition, you are bringing your history back into the present day. And nine times out of ten there is some aspect of deception around the fact that you have herpes. That in itself is painful and hard to deal with.

The whole process of coming to terms with having herpes, or any STI, can be tough for many people. And even though I have friends who have STIs, it is only since working with Date Positive that I have become much, much more aware of the stigma attached to having herpes.

People have written some painfully honest emails to us, thanking us for the site and telling us that they have felt as though they have been confined to their own private prison since diagnosis.

Some people have written using quite strong language and said that they feel “marked”, “dirty”, or “damaged”. One man told www.datepositive.net that the people he told assumed he slept around, when that wasn’t the case. The implication was that he was being judged and told that a) it was wrong to sleep around and b) it was his own fault he had herpes. No-one judging this man considered the fact that he was in what he believed to be a monogamous and trusting relationship.

Another woman wrote and said that her sister had said she should have been more careful when, once again, the truth was that she was in a monogamous and trusting relationship.

It’s clear then that the emotional impact of finding out one has herpes is significant, and for some quite traumatic. There is a sense of deception and betrayal and you can be reminded of those very painful feelings every time you have an episode.

This is why a site like Date Positive can be very comforting. You know that everyone is in the same position. The excitement and hope attached to meeting someone new are not threatened by the fact that you have to, at some point, tell a person you have herpes – or any STI.

Date Positive is a site that can help you move out of your isolation and make contact with new people, for chat, friendship, activities or dating/relationships. With that fear removed the process of meeting people is easier and there is no fear of rejection.

A small number of members have emailed us with questions about genital herpes. There are a lot of resources available providing information about this STI, and you can also get information from your GP or your local GUM clinic.

However, Date Positive will carry a series of articles on herpes to help readers and members. The information is gathered form the NHS. If you have specific questions please feel free to email them to us and we will do our best to get them answered from a knowledable source.

Genital herpes is caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV). There are two types: HSV1 and HSV2. It is estimated to affect more than 21,000 people in the UK each year.

This STI is passed from one person to another during sexual contact. A man or a woman who is sexually active can get the virus.

An outbreak of genital herpes is known as an episode. It is around this time that herpes can be passed on - usually before, during or after an episode.

Genital herpes can be passed from one person to another during sexual contact. HSV enters the body through cracks in the skin. It can also enter through the linings of the mouth, vagina, rectum and urethra (the tube that urine passes along).

The way in which symptoms can appear varies dramatically. Some people will get symptoms within four to five days of coming into contact with the virus. Other people do not get any symptoms for weeks, months or even in some cases years (although this is unusual).

After an initial episode, the virus becomes inactive (dormant). It can remain inactive for long periods ot time. When the virus is inactive it is not infectious and doesn't cause any symptoms. Some people will experience further episodes of genital herpes from time to time.

Genital herpes can be passed on:

- From one person to another during vaginal or anal sex or by sharing sex toys.

- By skin-to-skin contact during sex. It can be passed on by close genital contact. You don’t need to have penetrative sex (vaginal or anal) to pass it on.

- By skin-to-skin contact during sex if the virus is active on the skin outside the area protected by a condom or dam.

- If you receive oral sex from someone who has a cold sore or is just about to get one.

- From a person with herpes on the hand or finger who touches the vagina, genitals or the anal area. Herpes on the hand is known as a whitlow.

- It is possible for a pregnant woman to pass the virus to her baby at birth if she is having an episode.

Genital herpes cannot be passed on from:

- Hugging, sharing baths or towels, from swimming pools, toilet seats or from sharing cups, plates or cutlery.

The symptoms of genital herpes can be treated, although it will eventually clear up by itself. Treatment will usually ease any discomfort. After the first episode of genital herpes, further episodes may occur.

More to follow on herpes, treatment, and communication with partners.

Part two’s piece on writing a headline for your dating profile posted yesterday looked at writing a headline that focused on who you are.

But that’s only one approach. Here we are going to look at the many other types of headlines you could consider.

Describe what you are looking for. Here are a couple of good examples: Seeking walks, talks and hugs – a straight headline but it tells the reader a lot what the member seeks in a partner. Looking for an upbeat, positive, friendly person – once again a straight headline and very specific in terms of what’s being sought.

Seeking soulmate – a lot of people don’t like this headline but I honestly think it’s okay, if that’s what you’re actually looking for. However, if you use this headline be sure to be interesting and detailed in your actual profile. In other words, tell the reader what you think your soulmate will be like. Looking for gentle giant/Looking for sassy girl – again, pretty clear in terms of what the member wants.

Make a statement or request. This kind of headline is in a sense a combination headline. It says something about you and also describes what you are looking for. Here are a few of examples:

The world is my oyster – this person sounds like an explorer and ready to explore.

Let’s plunder the pot of gold – someone who is ready for adventure and who wants to share the great things life has to offer with a close companion.

Let’s get our boots muddy together – this person wants to wander off the beaten track in life and experience the wild and unusual.

Ask a question. A question headline creates curiosity and a bit of intrigue about your profile and who you are.

What’s the worst that could happen? – this restores the light-heatedness to dating that is so often missing because it can be loaded with expectations. At worst you could have a boring hour with someone not your type. At best you could meet the love of your life!

Can you restore my belly laugh? – here’s someone who definitely connects on the basis of humour. If you strike a cord with each other it could be great.

Fancy a film? – at first it sounds too basic but it’s good because that’s how great dates start, a shared enjoyment of something you both like.

Use humour or a favourite quote. I’ve said this before, you’ve got to be careful with humour because if it goes wrong it can go badly wrong. So play it safe and if you’re not sure, don’t use it.

However, here are some good examples to spur your creative juices:

Profile under construction – funny because it plays on the early days of the Internet when websites were never quite ready. Maybe this is a person in flux. Check out their profile again for new info.

Some like it hot – the title of one of Marilyn’s classics. Intriguing and inviting.

Can I borrow a bowl of sugar? – and why not?! You never know what might happen with the profile next door.

I wandered lonely as a cloud – lovely and romantic from the William Wordsworth poem, slightly sad too.

Dolce vita – the sweet life and someone’s looking to share it.

Only love interests me, and I am only in contact with things I love – a quote from the artist Marc Chagall, quite deep too. Whoever uses this line is pretty serious about love!

I hope these ideas help. Forget the headlines like Hello, or I’m John. Worst of all don't leave the headline space blank, or fill it with a series of full stops. It just tells readers you can’t really be bothered. No-one stops to read a profile with an empty headline slot or a repeated run of keyboard characters.

Use a bit of imagination. Practice for an hour or so, and pick what you believe is the best. You’ll have something that really does grab the attention of the people you hope to meet, and that’s the first step in getting them to read your profile.

Yesterday I wrote about the kinds of profile headlines that probably shouldn’t be used.

I asked you to think about describing yourself in a sentence and from that coming up with catchy headline.

It sounds harder than it really is. Once you start writing down your thoughts, ideas will come to you. Your probably won’t like the first few ideas you come up with (but maybe you will)! However, after a few lines you’ll be pretty close to what you are looking for.

Here are some examples of good headlines:

Smiles! Lots of them – this says so much about the advertiser. It tells you that they are happy and enjoy life and happiness is important to them.

Skeptical, but intrigued – it’s pretty clear this person isn’t too sure about Internet dating. But they are putting themselves out there and will give it a chance. This is someone who is open to trying new things in life.

Up for recycling – this is cute and funny. It shows that the member is into being Green, and also that she/he has had relationships before but is ready to try again.

It’s more fun together – a basic thing that we sometimes forget; life IS more fun when the company feels just right. This person wants to explore life with a companion.

Friendly, fun, spontaneous and happy – straightforward and it works too because it says so much.

Leaps small buildings in a single bound – a pretty energetic and possibly ambitious person. This headline reveals a great deal about the person's outlook on life.

Tomorrow I will write about how to take different approaches to profile headline writing.Don’t forget, if you are a member of www.datepositive.net you can have free help writing your profile and headline. Just email us at info@datepositive.net.

What’s the first thing that grabs your attention when you look at profiles on a dating website?

The words in the profile? A person’s height? Their occupation? No, it’s the headline. You read that first and then make a decision weather or not to read further.

So writing a good headline is really important. Other members will read it, and then react to it. And of course you want their reaction to be a positive one.

In fact, you’ve probably only got about five or ten seconds or so to make a good impression with your headline and draw members in (or push them away).

So consider these headlines: Still looking; Lonely guy; Good in bed; Read this; Hello.

They are uninspiring and some are quite negative. If someone is still looking, what’s wrong with them, or why are they having bad luck finding a date? And while we all know that people feel lonely now and then, advertising that fact to your potential dates isn’t going to win any votes.

Stay away too from anything that could be potentially offensive, such as questionable humour, a focus on sex or body parts, or demands. These headlines simply put people off and the questionable ones will likely be flagged up by the site administrators anyway.

Don’t sound desperate. Headlines like Pick me, or Please read my profile just put people off.

You need to catchy, bright, and honest. Think about what you wrote in your profile and how you worked to capture your strengths and positive qualities into a few sentences (see the articles in the section labeled Online dating advice). Your headline needs to do this further in just a few short words.

Tomorrow: examples of good headlines and what a headline can say to a reader in just a few words.

If you’ve read this far you'll realise that putting together a good profile for a dating website can mean the difference between receiving messages and being ignored.

You should now have substance of your profile – your best qualities. You’ve written them in an interesting and engaging way, as outlined in yesterday’s post.

Now you need to put your profile together. Think of it like a mini story. It needs a beginning, middle and end. Introduce yourself. This doesn’t mean give your name. It means offering an interesting opening line. For example: “Energetic hiker and movie buff looks forward to the future and a new partner”.

Write a bit more about yourself in a relaxed, conversational style. What have you done recently, what do you get passionate about, and what are your plans? What things are important in your life? Do you have children? If so, it’s worthwhile mentioning them briefly.

Don’t feel you have to be perfect – you can sound human! There’s nothing wrong with saying “I’m working on losing those few extra pounds I put on over Christmas and will be in great shape for my best friend’s wedding this spring.”

Use humour but use it carefully and in good taste. Consider using favourite quotes or reference books/films that appeal to you – maybe a friend has said you remind them of a certain kind of character in a book or film.

Some dating websites separate out the who you are section and the what are you looking for section. If this is the case you will need to pull-out the last part of your profile and describe the kind of person you see yourself with. Write about the kinds of people you get along with, or who you hope to meet.

There is nothing wrong with high standards, but be flexible too. If you live in a rural area but only want to hear from tall, dark, handsome men with great career prospects your chances of success are going to be limited.

Remember, be honest, be yourself, and sell yourself. Also, don't forget to be very clear – meaning is important. Don’t write “I’m an easy girl” if you mean you are laid-back and relaxed. To improve clarity, set your your profile aside and leave it for a day or two. When you go back to it with fresh eyes you will see room for improvement. No-one writes perfectly the first time around.

End your profile positively, with hope, and with an invitation. A simple “Looking forward to hearing from you” or “If you enjoyed reading this I’d like to hear from you” are good options. Done your best? Give it a final spelling and grammar check and then upload your profile.

In the next couple of days I am going to look at common pitfalls in dating profiles, and also how to write about the importance of writing a good headline, and selecting a picture.

A successful dating website profile has to be honest. And I’m not talking about brutally honest. But you’ve got to be able to give a positive, interesting and colourful sense of who you are.Remember, there are thousands of people competing with you for the person you want hope to meet. You’ll need to stand out from the crowd. Your objective is not just to be added to someone’s favourites list – you want that person to write to you.

Before you write your advert, think about what’s important to you and who you’d like to meet. What makes you a special person, someone worth getting to know? What do you have to offer another person, and what are you looking for in a date or partner?

If this seems like a challenge, ask a friend for input and ideas. Find someone you feel safe with and who sees you in a positive light. Put together a list of your best qualities. Are you creative, outgoing, adventurous, reflective or ambitious? Find three or four key strengths that you can develop and focus on in your profile.

Now you’ve got those key strengths, it’s time to begin writing. Don’t just say “I’m creative”. Give an example, such as: “I’ve always wanted to paint and took a watercolours class last year. I surprised myself with the results and am moving on to the next class this autumn”. Illustrate that you are creative and also a person who wants to develop him/herself and move forward in life.

Here’s another example. Suppose you want to say you’re ambitious. Explain how and why and what you’ve done so far. “I work for a bank and have moved from teller to assistant manager in under three years. Eventually I want to become a financial adviser and own my own business.”

A lot of people focus on work in their profiles. This is fine but remember that people are interested in a lot more than your work. Who are you and what are your interests, goals and dreams? You want to give a bit of insight into who you are, grab their attention, and feel like they’d really like to get to know you.

Tomorrow I'll write about how to put your complete profile together.

There are thousands of website and magazine features telling you how to write a stand-out profile for a dating website.

Trouble is, how do you know which advice works and which doesn’t? You don’t – at least until you try it. So you can end up investing lots of time reading pieces of advice and writing and rewriting your profile to suit what’s being recommended, often without success. In the end this approach can be a huge waste of time.

When I look at these advice columns I see very few written by people who’ve actually tried online dating, let alone managed a dating website. They seem to be produced by people selling profile writing as a service, or bloggers and journalists who have a features slot to fill.

I came across one online column recommending that men looking for online dating success should use copy writing principles used to sell products and services. Fair enough. And I am sure a few of the tips would be relevant.

The problem is though that individuals aren’t a product or service. We’re often complex, multifaceted creatures with a vast array of strengths and qualities. And what’s seen as a strength by one person could very viewed differently by another. For example, one woman might be attracted to a self-possessed, confident man. Another could be put off by that description because she’s looking for someone who’s quiet and not afraid to be vulnerable.

So in our view profile writing isn’t about taking a sales approach to your online description.

Date Positive has been around for about 15 months. We know what makes a good profile and what kinds of profiles get exposure. We also receive feedback form members who tell us what kind of success they’ve had.

The profiles that generate both contacts and success are those infused with a sense of personality. They have a bit of character and are colourful. In other words, you have a sense of who the person might be. You’re drawn in and become curious. There’s an attraction to a profile. It resonates with you, you identify with it, or it strikes a cord. You might think “Yeah, what that person’s written is true".

Or, you feel like you’re not sure. And, depending on what kind of person you are, you may or may not want to initiate contact. Finally, you might read a profile and think for sure the person isn’t for you. And that’s fine. You’ve saved yourself and the advertiser a whole lot of time.

So how do you write this kind of profile? In tomorrow’s post I will cover some of the important aspects of how to write an online dating profile. And remember, if you are a member of www.datepositive.net, contact us and we will help with your profile for free.

By DrThom

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) used to be known as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and refer to a range of infections that can be passed on through close sexual contact.  STIs are extremely common - so common, in fact, that every week around 30,000 people in the UK attend NHS sexual health clinics.  According to a recent study, demand for these health services still far outstrips supply. 

Some STIs show symptoms all the time, some show symptoms none of the time and some only show symptoms in a handful of people.  Whatever the case, the more we all know about them the better we’ll be able to manage the ones we have and avoid the ones we don’t.  By understanding and talking about specific infections, it should also make it easier to discuss these issues with our partners.  It also enables us to make informed decisions about the risks we’re prepared to take and the risk we’re prepared to expose our partners to.

In the UK and Ireland, socio-economic change continues to change the way that some of us lead our lives. For many of us this can result in us having a greater risk of contracting an STI.  Not only are people ‘settling down’ later, but those who are single tend to have more partners than they did in the past - a sample of patients attending a Terrence Higgins Trust testing centre found that 6.1% and 7.1% of heterosexual men and women respectively had had a new partner in the previous seven days.  At the other end of the age spectrum an increase in the number of divorces – 155,000 in 2005 in the UK - means that many middle-aged people are finding themselves exposed to STIs for the first time in twenty years.

Newspapers and the TV regularly report that there’s a continued explosion in STIs, but the reality behind the headlines depends very much on the STI in question.  The most common infection, genital chlamydia, has seen a steady rise and has a nasty habit of not showing any symptoms, thereby lurking silently.  Other infections such as gonorrhoea haven’t seen an explosion at all and something like syphilis is on the increase, albeit from a very low base.

Lastly, there’s the issue of STIs on relationships.  A new diagnosis can trigger unjustified accusations of infidelity and someone with, for instance, an incurable but currently not-visible viral STI might be too nervous to tell a new partner. 

Over the next few months, we’re going to be discussing these and other issues. We hope you find it useful.  If there are specific issues you would like us to discuss, then send your suggestions to info@datepositive.net because all of these features will be written by NHS specialists in sexual health who work at DrThom.  DrThom is the UK’s leading online medical service and provides testing and treatment for a range of STIs and other lifestyle health conditions.